Monologue-ing Chris

It's better to be vile than to have people think you're vile, especially when they accuse you of being vile and you're really not, and then you don't even get to enjoy doing the thing that people say is vile but that you don't think is. For why should people who are corrupt themselves get to wink knowingly at my lustful inclinations? And why should people who are even weaker than I pry into my weaknesses, deciding that what I think is good is bad? No, I am what I am, and the people who accuse me are only revealing their own corruptions. Maybe I'm straight, and they're the ones who are crooked; you can't measure my actions by their foul thoughts, unless they're willing to believe that all men are bad and thrive in their badness. (Modern Text of Sonnet 121)

Sonnet 121 

  'Tis better to be vile than vile esteemed,
  When not to be receives reproach of being,
  And the just pleasure lost which is so deemed
  Not by our feeling but by others' seeing.
  For why should others' false adulterate eyes
  Give salutation to my sportive blood?
  Or on my frailties why are frailer spies,
  Which in their wills count bad what I think good?
  No, I am that I am, and they that level
  At my abuses reckon up their own;
  I may be straight, though they themselves be bevel.
  By their rank thoughts my deeds must not be shown,
                  Unless this general evil they maintain:
                  All men are bad, and in their badness reign.

"Building an identity consists of negotiating the meanings of our experience of membership in social communities. The concept of identity serves as a pivot between the social and the individual, so that each can be talked about in terms of the other. It avoids a simplistic individual-social dichotomy without doing away with the distinction. […] It does justice to the lived experience of identity while recognising its social character – it is the social, the cultural, the historical with a human face."

"Each act of participation or reification, from the most public to the most private, reflects the mutual constitution between individuals and collectivities. Our practices, our languages, our artefacts, and our world views all reflect our social relations. Even our most private thoughts of make use of concepts, images, and perspectives that we understand through our participation in social communities." 

Note: The above are from 'Shakespeare, W. 1598' and 'Wenger, E. 1998'. Many thanks to Yvette (i.e. THE teacher, from whom I stole the Sonnet 121), even though I'm no fan of Shakespeare, the sonnet still provokes aspirations. Being DIFFERENT is through comparison/contrast with OTHERS I believe, so I'd rather be just ME instead of being different. =)

P.S. What I wrote at Buboo (and Twitter):

三十了，明天，終於。「這是個多驚悚的跨越」以前總想著。但驚覺，它輕易地到來，智識、成就、進退、處事甚至自我了解，卻似乎仍被忘在幾年後。老了心態，老了軀殼，倒是親密的人反而越是擔心，根本三十不及。生日快樂，給自己「慢活」的藉口是：這世界本來就要容忍多樣的人生。