Monologue-ing Chris

Make You Feel My Love 原本是 Bob Dylan 的，但 Adele 深夜獨坐床沿的女版，讓我在翻覆無法入眠後，嚎啕大哭腫了眼、哭的副作用也充塞整個鼻腔，沒有縫隙呼吸，大口喘著氣，徹底執行這幾日最深深的痛楚，心痛的時候，輕撫軟揉並無效果，只有往胸腔底悶搥。「是什麼往錯裡去了？」眼睜睜，我往黑暗裡問，那怕是神是鬼是佛是魔。「是什麼往錯裡去了？」讓我在無法酣睡時，看到了那麼多駭人的話，有股求生不得、求死不能的絕境感，汩汩不絕從胃底酸到心頭，刻在骨裡、溶在血裡的，腦子裡任何理性或智識一絲絲都作用不了，死灰枯槁。世界上，再也不會有同等絕望的故事，沒有第二個選項，從此人間消失，對我也會是個好建議。



風雨驟來，寧願雨就這樣灑醒，冷顫的卻沒有一個擁抱算數。夜星灰濛濛都看不見，不是北國天際的清明，頭仰著多久皆是一片數不盡閃爍，曾經在冷風裡的很多眼淚，漸漸淡忘，現在熱滾滾流下的，只有像邋遢孩子用自個手背拭去。要確認的，是相愛，不是別的。但愛呢？那是唯一不得而知的，哪還有互相能說嘴？擁抱，哭訴地太遙遠。

什麼努力都願意做的心緒，卻什麼都無能為力。那麼愛，怎麼可能被確實傳遞而被真切感受？遑論餓壞、遑論累攤、遑論卑微、遑論傷痕累累，繞過地球半圈都要送上的愛，被錯置了？被誤讀了？還有誰能夠像這樣痴傻地愛？驚濤駭浪的過往悔恨，什麼都願意賠付，這樣的真摯，是不是要回到世界的盡頭，才能被忘卻、體恤、原諒，最後重啟？

Make You Feel My Love

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love