Christine in Monotone

K.D. Lang said: If you should leave here tonight, feeling not quite sated, no oh not Satan, feeling unfulfilled. Please remember, that this is, a human condition. ( K.D. Lang's CHARMs)

Constant Craving by K.D. Lang & Ben Mink

Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin

Constant craving
Has always been

Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To its youth

Constant craving
Has always been

Craving
Ah ha
Constant craving
Has always been

Constant craving
Has always been
Constant craving
Has always been

Craving
Ah ha
Constant craving
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been

Small Steps by Louis Sachar

It's a lost and lonely kind of feeling,
To wake up wearing a disguise.
I lie in bed staring at the ceiling,
I don't know who I am,
There's little that I can
Fully recognize....
But I'm taking small steps,
'Cause I don't know where I'm going.
I'm taking small steps
And I don't know what to say.
   
Small steps,
Trying to pull myself together,
And maybe I'll discover
A clue along the way....
Just to make it through the day and not get hurt,
Seems about the best that I can hope.
Like coffee stains splattered on your sweatshirt,
There isn't any pattern.
Everything's uncertain.
It's difficult to cope....

True Love 13 Feb 2001 by Wislawa Szymborska

True love. Is it normal
is it serious, is it practical?
What does the world get from two people who exist in a world of their own?

Placed on the same pedestal for no good reason,
drawn randomly from millions but convinced it had to happen this way - in reward for what?
For nothing.

The light descends from nowhere.
Why on these two and not on others?
Doesn't this outrage justice? Yes it does.
Doesn't it disrupt our painstakingly erected principles,
and cast the moral from the peak?
Yes on both accounts.

Look at the happy couple.
Couldn't they at least try to hide it,
fake a little depression for their friends' sake?
Listen to them laughing - its an insult.
The language they use - deceptively clear.

And their little celebrations, rituals,
the elaborate mutual routines - it's obviously a plot behind the human race's back!
It's hard even to guess how far things might go if people start to follow their example.
What could religion and poetry count on?
What would be remembered?
What renounced?
Who'd want to stay within bounds?

True love.
Is it really necessary?
Tact and common sense tell us to pass over it in silence,
like a scandal in Life's highest circles.
Perfectly good children are born without its help.
It couldn't populate the planet in a million years,
it comes along so rarely.

Let the people who never find true love keep saying that there's no such thing.
Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.

即使去火星，或在殉情的過程中，也不可能存在不曖昧的男女關係 by 村上龍

「完全看透他了」，這句話是什麼意思呢？
就文學和心理學的角度來說，人類大多不瞭解自己。
只有別人才能確認自己和其他人之間的不同之處。
人格是社會性的。
因為「完全看透」原本就是不可能的事，所以這句話恐怕得解釋成「他變成了另一個人」。
但是，原本就不可能有一致性的人格，所以人類暴露出其他部分是家常便飯。
譬如說，丈夫在妻子面前、公司上司面前、和在喜歡的酒店小姐面前，具有微妙差異的另一個人格，那是理所當然的。
丈夫怎麼暴露出「另一個自己」的？
對於維持「在家中的自己」趕到厭倦。我想，令他感到厭倦的，八成是他妻子。
那個妻子選擇了令丈夫感到厭倦。
即使令丈夫感到厭倦，說不定她還是希望丈夫維持「一如往常的丈夫」，證明對自己的愛意；
另外，說不定是想讓丈夫感到厭倦，使他露出「另一面」，好讓自己討厭他。
無論如何，那是一種心理上的防禦本能。
任誰都希望心上人在自己面前是個表裡如一的人。
因為若非表裡如一的人，就無法確認自己。
希望愛他與被他愛的人，在自己面前暴露出不同的人格，這是一種恐懼。
於是，從中會衍生出另一種恐懼。
人類的想像力製造出那種恐懼。
想像的內容是「這個人在我之外的人面前，也表現得和在我面前一樣吧」
這稱為「嫉妒」
但是，我們無法消除嫉妒。
這世界上不可能存在不曖昧的男女關係。
儘管兩個人渡海到無人島上，發誓情比金堅、互相割破手指刺青，或者兩人從大樓跳樓，也無法釐清任何事情。
兩人手牽手從大樓一躍而下時，也沒辦法消除「對方說不定在想別人」的疑慮。
那麼，我們該怎麼做才好？
我想，只有鼓起勇氣接受曖昧。說很簡單，做很困難。
特別是垂頭喪氣、失去自信時，曖昧會變成令人難以忍受的事物。
而且，誤以為消除那種曖昧就等於是在追求真愛的傻瓜意想不到地多。
這不是要允許對方說謊。而是要相信自己。
沒有辦法做到這一點的人，就沒有資格談戀愛。


Now, I'm feeling very Tuesday, and, imcomplete.
+ = me.